Archive for November, 2006
i can’t quite find the anger i need
to put into words how i feel about you.
i’ve tried several times,
but all that comes out is joy.
when, really,
on the inside,
i’m screaming at you for rejecting me
i’m so frustrated.
i’m losing confidence in my intuition
and losing sight of what i want.
i try to write
but all that comes out, is [...]
Filed under: poetry | 1 Comment
Lost Soul… with a destination?
it’s a long road to get home
driving on the beaten path many have taken before me.
living life in the same rut that other’s have experienced.
feeling like i’ll never get out.
i drove the whole way accompanied by blue skies
i was jammin to JT,
thinking of boys
and how it’s not about sex anymore.
i want something more,
and I’m not [...]
Filed under: Love & Relationships, life, love prospects, poetry | 3 Comments
damn
i’ve been let down
again
broken down
again
lost all hope
again.
thought i could possibly commit
again.
and, boy, was i wrong
again.
i built up an excitment for you
i thought slow and steady won the race
i tried to be the girl i wanted to be
and still please you
i failed to see the signs
i didn’t recognize the risks
of an emotional ride you’d take me [...]
Filed under: love prospects | 4 Comments
miss you…(a little bit)
i dream of you at night sometimes
more often now than ever before.
it’s comforting to feel that warmth once again.
with you holding me tight
against your chest,
our hearts beating in tune with one another.
smiling like we did.
me pushing your “buttons.”
I hope they are sacred, not something you share with her now.
i couldn’t imagine sharing that with someone [...]
Filed under: Exes, Love & Relationships, poetry | 4 Comments
XxX[porn.or.purity?]
I wanna play a game.
high in drama, low in class.
you attacked me, i’m fighting back.
call me a drunk,
i’m a lush, an alcoholic…
but you’re stubborn,
pig-headed and ignorant.
Attack my choice and don’t let me defend.
close your ears when i speak,
just sit there and judge me.
i’ll make my choices, you make yours.
i ask questions to understand, not [...]
Filed under: life, poetry, sex_drugs_and_rock_n_roll, straight edge | 5 Comments
unconditional love
the puppy dog eyes
the pouty lips
the hand holding
the cuddling
unconditional affection.
where two make one
infidelities don’t exist.
strings are attached, but you’re unaware.
the beauty in innocent first kisses (missing lips).
kisses that lead to smiles, not sex.
watching the stars is perfect romance
phone calls are exciting
and you talk for hours on end
time flies by quickly
nothing else seems to matter.
your friends [...]
Filed under: Exes, Love & Relationships, poetry | 3 Comments
the numbers game
in a world of numbers
i can’t get past 2
it’s a checkpoint that comes too soon
1, i’m in love
2, i feel used
leave before i’m left alone, broken and bruised
1 ain’t the lonliest number
for me, it’s 2
attachment scares me away
and we’ve all witnessed my tendency towards flight
in a situation of flight or fight.
i choose to take off,
fly [...]
Filed under: Love & Relationships, lust | 3 Comments
when you realize
what do you do when you realize
that you aren’t ready to find what you’re looking for?
(you’re finally ready to heal)
what do you do when you realize
that you’ve become someone else (that they’d be disappointed in you)?
(you can crush boundaries)
what do you do when you realize
that what you want is not what you need?
(you take risks)
what [...]
Filed under: life, poetry | Leave a Comment
heavy sighs and smiling eyes
[sept 9 06]
with your smiling eyes
and heavy sighs
the temptaion of you
is a permanent tattoo
on my soul.
resist the pull
of the gravity upon me
toward what could be.
please feel like me
the excitement of a ‘we’
but you feel,
against your will,
this little spark.
i’ve made my mark.
a game of chess,
i’ve made the mess.
complications like me
make you not ready.
i know my chances [...]
Filed under: Love & Relationships, poetry | 1 Comment
the struggle
[sept 23 06]
waiting and hoping until my lungs collapse.
i keep inhaling the sweet scent.
and exhaling the burning fumes
i step forward, only to fall backward
one… two… three… steps.
my pace quickens with an excitement
heart rate quickens, adrenaline releases.
and then i stop.
.
.
.
Hesitant to move on
for fear that I’ll just fall back-
one…two…three… steps.
I look up to the sky but [...]
Filed under: Love & Relationships, life, poetry | Leave a Comment
